Believe it or not this week’s topic all came from a fish. On our first episode of the live stream we shared that we had just bought the boys their first pet fish, a small betta they named Kai. We bought him some food and put him in a fish bowl. But after a few days we knew we were missing something. He was surviving, but definitely not thriving.
This reflection applies to marriage and parenthood as well. And in this episode we talk about the primary purpose of marriage and parenthood. When it comes to marriage and parenthood are you thriving, or just merely surviving?
The Real Purpose of Marriage and Parenthood
In the romantic comedies we get the idea that marriage is about making each other happy. You fall in love and live happily ever after. But is that the real purpose of marriage? If we expect our spouse to make us happy, what happens when one day we wake up and realize that they don’t make us happy anymore? Separation? Divorce?
What about being a parent? Most of us who have children have come to believe that our primary mission in life as parents is to make sure our kids get into a good college. But is that our most important role as parents? Is making sure our kids get a job or a successful career
We’ve got a different understanding about the purpose of marriage and parenthood and when you start to see it this way and live it this way it will change everything!
Ricky’s Reflections on Marriage and Parenthood
If you didn’t already know, Ricky has been blogging for years, even before we started The Jones Life. Here are some articles he’s written on the topics we discussed in this episode of the show.
- How Marriage Get’s You Holy
- When Your Spouse Doesn’t Make You Happy
- Carrying the Cross of Parenthood: Three Ways Parenthood Will Make You a Saint
- Why Unity Not Happiness is Key to Marriage
Books on Marriage and Parenthood
We recommended a handful of books on this episode and as we promised here are the links to where you can purchase them in your preferred format.
- The 5 Love Languages — Gary Chapman
- The Love Dare — Alex and Stephen Kendrick
- Bringing Up Boys: Shaping the Next Generation of Men — James Dobson
- Bringing Up Girls: Shaping the Next Generation of Women — James Dobson
- Becoming Yourself: Embracing God’s Dream of You — Stasi Eldredge
- Fathered by God: Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You — John Eldredge
Only a Few Years, Then You Get Your Life Back
One of the comments many people make about parenting is that your life is over after you have kids. In a sense that is true, but not in the way you might think. Having children means your life is no longer about you. It is a way that God uses to bring you out of your selfishness and self-centeredness. He challenges you to love as He does.
This week I was listening to an episode of the Jennifer Fulwiler Show in which she talked about how this idea that you’ll get your life back after your kids are 18 comes from the “culture of death”. She explains that as Christians God calls us to serve. At some point in your life it may be to serve your children. But even after they’re gone He will call you to serve in other ways. Life is about learning to love like God loves and loving like God loves means pouring out your life for others.
Quote of the Week
“You are amazing. Well, okay, maybe not every day. Every day the wonder of you is amazing, but many days the wonder of you is buried beneath the rubble of a world gone mad. You were born into a glorious mess, and we all have become something of a glorious mess ourselves. And in the midst of our mess, God has a thing for us. He does not despise our humanity or despair over our condition as we sometimes do. He does not turn his face away from us in our failings or our self-centeredness, as we would like to. He is not surprised. He is aware that we are but dust and our feet are made of clay, and he has made arrangements for us to not stay that way. Let me say this truth again: you are loved.”
Becoming Myself: Embracing God’s Dream of You, Stasi Eldridge
About the Show
This is the show where faith comes first, family is our mission, and every day is an opportunity to be the light of the world. We talk everything from marriage and family, parenting and homeschooling. We get real, we share our stories, and we have a whole lot of fun! Join us each week at 8pm Pacific on Facebook @thejoneslifeblog!