Dealing with Disappointment [Episode #006]

We all are faced with disappointment throughout our lives. On this episode of LIVE with the Joneses we talk about dealing with disappointment. We share some of our own personal experiences facing disappointment, as well as share some ideas for overcoming it. Plus a review of a powerful movie we watched this week and an example of disappointment from the life of Jesus.

How We’ve Faced Disappointment

We start with an example from our own lives earlier this week when we were faced with disappointment. This weekend we had a sale at the Rose Bowl Flea Market for our charity The ROCK Association.

For the past few weeks Johana and our good friend Deysi had been working full-time hours getting ready for this sale, refurbishing some vintage furniture. Our estimated income from the sale was at least $2,000, but at the end of the day we were far short of that and still stuck with a truckload of merchandise. Something was wrong with this picture.

Ideas for Overcoming Disappointment

1. Don’t Dwell on It

Disappointment is just a feeling, but if you dwell on those feelings they evolve into discouragement which effects how you will act or make decisions in the future.

2. Form a Strong Circle of Support

“It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Gn 2:18) You need a good group of people around you to help you see things from a different perspective. It’s easy to get tunnel vision and not see a way out of the disappointment, but friends, family, church community, and God can all help you to see things in a new light.

3. Accept Imperfection

I was told by a priest in confession that when we aren’t accepting of others, it’s usually because we aren’t accepting of ourselves. If you expect perfection, you’re going to be disappointed. Whether it’s you or somebody else, you will never be able to reach perfection. So when, not if you fail, don’t beat yourself up.

“There’s always failure. And there’s always disappointment. And there’s always loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.”

Michael J. Fox

4. Don’t Give Up

The first time you fail and face disappointment, doesn’t mean you won’t be able to do better the next time around. The Beatles were turned down by numerous record labels until someone took a chance on them. Now they are icons. Perseverance pays off.

5. See Things God’s Way

Sometimes we get so stuck in what we want and in our expectations that we forget that God has a much better vision of how things should be. Learning to see things from His perspective is life changing.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

6. Have an Attitude of Gratitude

When you are thankful for everything, you are less likely to be disappointed about anything. You will realize how blessed you are and the feelings of disappointment will vanish.

“When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.”

Kristin Armstrong

7. Don’t Fear Failure

Failing at something often seems final, the end of the world. But it’s not. It’s just a tiny roadblock that must be overcome before we proceed on the journey. Don’t let that tiny roadblock become a giant brick wall.

“Do not allow yourself to be disheartened by any failure as long as you have done your best.” Mother Teresa

Collateral Beauty

A Powerful Movie on the Topic of Disappointment

In this movie Will Smith plays the head of an advertising agency who loses his young daughter to a rare form of cancer. His life is destroyed and he is overcome with feelings of anger, sadness, and disappointment. Obviously his pain is unbearable and it has effected every aspect of his life. His marriage is broken. His company is going under. His friends think he is losing his mind.

But instead of trying to overcome the feelings disappointment instead he dwells on them and is consumed by them. In a way he stays in the disappointment because he sees it as a way of remaining to connected to his daughter. But in the end (SPOILER ALERT) he is finally able to accept the fact that she is gone and that he can do nothing to bring her back. After this he is able to move on and begin repairing his life.

It’s a powerful reflection on this topic of disappointment and we highly recommend you check it out. Bring the tissue box along because you’ll definitely be needing it.

The Greatest Disappointment – The Passion of Jesus

Today happens to be Holy Thursday, the beginning of the Pascal Triduum, the final days before Easter. On this night about 2,000 years ago Jesus went through some extreme disappointment Himself.

1. The Agony in the Garden

After sharing the Last Supper with His disciples Jesus took them out to the Mount of Olives where He entered the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. He asked them to stay back and keep watch. This is the most difficult interior battle of His life as He attempts to unite His will to that of the Father, knowing that what lies ahead for Him is suffering and death for the salvation of the world. When He comes back He finds the disciples, His closest friends are asleep. This happens three times. Talk about disappointment!

2. The Betrayal of Judas

Then another of His disciples, Judas, shows up with a group of people bearing swords and clubs to arrest Jesus and take Him away. Judas betrays Him with a kiss for 30 pieces of silver. One of His most intimate friends turns his back on Him and leads the people who are about to put Him to death straight to Him. What a let down!

3. Alone and Abandoned

As soon as the crowd shows up to arrest Jesus, the disciples run away in fear for their lives. And they remain in hiding throughout the entire passion of Christ—from His scourging at the pillar, the crowning of thorns, and the carrying of the cross. In the end Jesus is crucified and as He is hanging from the cross He cries out “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me.” He is alone and abandoned by His friends and all of the crowds of people who had flocked to Him for miracles and followed Him during His preaching. What disappointment!

QUESTION: What tips or ideas do you have for overcoming feelings of disappointment?

About the Show

This is the show where faith comes first, family is our mission, and every day is an opportunity to be the light of the world. We talk everything from marriage and family, parenting and homeschooling. We get real, we share our stories, and we have a whole lot of fun! Join us each week at 8pm Pacific on Facebook @thejoneslifeblog!

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